Tuesday, May 23, 2017

Six Habits Which Can Keep You Subpar.

Habits are diehard ways of thinking and behaving which make us who we are.Gradually,they rule out many options from our lives because the comfort of old habits prevents us from attempting anything new.You can call it a desire to live in our comfort zones.

But sticking religiously to old habits keeps us from evolving and becoming sharper.We are witnessing massive changes around us in this era.It is not easy to keep abreast of all those changes but it becomes almost impossible if we are bogged down by our old habits.Here are a few examples:--
  • Following a fixed routine-If you are doing today what you have been doing for the bygone weeks,months or years,where is the need for your brain to strain itself?It will snooze in it's comfort zone because it too needs exercise like any other organ of the body to work at its optimum capacity.
  • Refusing to try anything new-This is partly like the aforesaid habit but it has wider ramifications.Technology has invaded every aspect of life today.Numerous needs can be fulfilled at the click of a button but if we continue to do things the old way,the brain slows down and our personality loses it's spark.We also waste a lot of time doing what could have been done in a jiffy.
  • Keeping aloof-It is not media alone which informs us about the developments which can make life easier for us.People around us can fill in the gaps if our knowledge is incommensurate  and the tech-savvy can be roped in to learn the tricks.
  • Not asking questions-We avoid asking questions in order to conceal our ignorance but in the process we become more and more ignorant.We may pretend that we know it all but others can easily see through this facade.This tendency is responsible for us remaining ignorant in many fields.
  • Rejecting criticism-There are two kinds of critics-those who wish to pull us down and those who have our welfare at heart.When we reject the second kind we lose an opportunity to improve ourselves.
  • Lack of curiosity-Newton's curiosity about the reason for an apple falling off the tree led to phenomenal changes in our views about the world we inhabit.It is curiosity which introduces us to new domains and enlarges the field of  our knowledge.
Not only do above habits prevent us from keeping pace with this fast changing world, they also nibble at our self esteem.Changing the very basic ways of conducting our affairs is certainly not easy, but incorporating at least some of these changes in our lifestyles will enable us to become one of a cluster and not  an isolated dot.

Tuesday, May 9, 2017

Cognitive Distortion-Blaming Others

It is but natural that personalization should be followed by Blaming-a thought disorder which is opposed to it in almost every way.It denotes blaming external factors for everything which goes wrong in one's life.

Those who suffer from this distortion have a blind spot regarding their own role in the problems which come their way.They do not look back to examine if their behavior was somewhere at fault.This closes the door on a constructive refinement of their outlook and behavior.The setbacks and disappointments recur again and again.

Even in the realm of emotional problems you will hear them complain that so and so is causing them a lot of pain--oblivious of their own role in the deterioration of that relationship.


No doubt ignoring one's contribution to a problem absolves one from the responsibility to improve the status-quo;but this short term relief results in long term disadvantages.Persisting with such behavior makes it difficult to tackle life's problems head on.

It has been seen that those who are forever complaining about this and that are generally not regarded as good company.People get weary of listening to their grouses and showing sympathy.So they are often left alone.

It is not difficult to determine the genesis of this thought disorder.Perhaps they were coddled and made much of as kids--led to believe that they were perfect and could do no wrong.If they grew up as egoists or narcissists,it is hardly their fault.


If you wish to break this shackle you will have to rewrite your ego,understand that you too have drawbacks and weaknesses like everybody else;that these might partly be responsible for your difficulties and they have to be overcome if you want to move forward in life.

If you want to untangle yourself from the clutches of this distortion follow that old Greek adage-Know Thyself.Try to analyse the extent to which you were the cause of a recent mishap.Examine the steps taken by you to solve that problem.A thorough scrutiny of your predilections,weaknesses and misperceptions will enable you to undertake a much needed course correction.

When you finally recognise yourself in the mirror of truth you will have lesser grouses about the world.What's more,your problems will diminish because now you can see how you also added to them.You will embrace better coping skills and have many reasons to be proud of yourself.