A cursory survey of all successful people will reveal that they had one quality in common--self-confidence. Indeed this is one asset which multiplies your chances of success manifold. The absence of self-confidence rather nullifies many other qualities of a person.Self-confidence not only facilitates success,it also decides how others view you.The thoughts & actions of a confident person always carry an element of credibility,which boost his image & status. Therefore it is essential that if you lack this characteristic , you take steps to acquire it so that you can attain your goals & fulfill your ambitions.
A person's self confidence stems from his self esteem.Self esteem itself depends upon how those around you judge you & how successful you have been in your ventures so far.Ironically,while low self esteem impedes success,failure depletes it further.It is a vicious circle.The good news is that this chain can be broken.You need to make systematic efforts in order to do this.
First of all make an inventory of your positive traits. It is not essential that you be an Adonis or a Venus. Perhaps you have a good height, or a proportionate body, or a sweet voice? Or you may be good at sports,or music, or computers, or personal relationships. Maybe you have a sharp mind & the ability to judge people?Are you sympathetic,courteous,cooperative & gentle?
The list could go on & on.Just put down your positive attributes on a paper & you will see that you are not such a dud after all.While you are at it;also recapitulate all your achievements to date.A person lacking self confidence usually brushes his feats under the carpet;labeling them as chance happenings. Focus on them whenever you feel unsure of yourself.
Now think seriously-what has been holding you back till now?Go & look at yourself in the mirror right now.Do you carry yourself erect?Can you meet people in the eye?Are you always trying to avoid the lime-light & merge into the background?Is your speech clear & lucid?Are you self-evasive & apologetic in your comments?If the answers to these questions is yes then you need to change all this.It should be done through consistent,constant, mindful efforts.
Now that your body-language has been taken care of;It is time to address your self-talk.It is essential to remember that out of the many conversations that we initiate, those that are addressed to ourselves are most important. They decide whether we will be confident or wishy-washy, achievers or procrastinators, go-getters or back-benchers.Desist from injurious self-talk.Do not undermine your skills,talents and achievements.
Now sit down &think what it is that you always wanted to do but did not have the courage to try? I am not talking of gigantic ambitions here, but an average down to earth dream. Let us say you always wanted to play the drums but felt shy in expressing your desire to anyone. O.K!The time has come now to take action. There must be some musician or a hobby class or a musical society in your city. If not, then look up the papers or advertise for one. Find a teacher &go attend the classes. Before you know it you will be so involved in this activity that you will forget you ever thought yourself incapable of learning it. You will make new friends & this too will boost your morale. No longer will you be able to say honestly -even to yourself- that you are good for nothing.Just track some basic unfulfilled desires & work on them.
When one target has been achieved go for the second one. Plan out your schedule, set out a dead-line & then start. Sit down ,think hard & take your own decisions. Don't run here & there asking for advice. Ignore if someone gives you unasked advice which is likely to slow your tempo. Some people have this habit of throwing a spanner in the works. Avoid them. Use your own resources as far as possible. A target accomplished totally on one's own steam is soooo satisfying.
Show yourself the same consideration that you show to others--thump your back,congratulate yourself &celebrate your success. Aren't you happy that you have achieved two targets on your own? Continue in the same vein &you will feel a surge of confidence like never before.
After you have attained 2,3,4, such targets you are ready for bigger game. Earlier you must have been very cautious &circumspect in your approach because you were not sure of yourself. But the time has come now to open up a bit ,to take calculated risks &to venture into new terrains. Success in a tough enterprise will give a never-before boost to your feelings of self-worth.
But be prepared for setbacks too.When you try something new & difficult there are even chances of it going wrong.Take it as a lesson for the future.Obstacles & set-backs should make you better not bitter. Nobody succeeds every time . Remember YOU ARE THE SAME PERSON IN FAILURE AS YOU WERE IN SUCCESS. So the question of slumping back after a failure does not arise. People don't fail; they just quit.
Make sure that your ventures are in accordance with your principles & values because if you do anything against your grain it is sure to nibble at your confidence.Never go against your own value system.
As you advance on the path of self-improvement take care of your appearance. Discard old,worn-out,shabby clothes &get yourself a new image. Join a smart club,learn some new skills,keep up with the times &make new friends. Let your achievements be known in a decent &non-offensive manner in case people did not notice.It would be a good idea to let them know that you are no longer the self-effacing person you used to be. Here's wishing you all the best!
If you want more tips to augment your self worth and improve yourself here are two links :--