1) First of all sit in a quiet place, drink a glass of water & analyse your situation impersonally .Employ your reason & ignore your emotions for the time being.WHAT is giving you the maximum heartache?Can you change it? If not then what is the worst that can happen? How best to come to terms with this new development? The answers to these questions will show you the path onward.
2) The most important requirement for a tension-free life is ACCEPTANCE. Whether it is a person or a situation which you don't like but can't change; taking it in your stride or working your way around it will give you some relief. Do not fight it endlessly & uselessly.You cannot change what has happened.You will only tire yourself out.
3) The second most useful attribute is FLEXIBILITY. life will not always proceed along the road map laid down by you. Despite hard labour you may be denied the fruits thereof.This happens to many.They start afresh.Sitting down & moping is not going to achieve anything.Sometimes we hanker for something which is not meant for us.Harping upon that & that alone is only going to intensify your sorrow.The setbacks which confront us denote that we have lessons to learn.They could be the stepping stones to a better & more evolved you.Often events which appear to be menacing,lead to positive outcomes. Therefore relinquishing your old mindset & adopting a new outlook will lessen your frustration.Flexibility implies setting a new goal if the old one is inaccessible.If you don't get what you like , then learn to like what you get. Change yourself rather than moping around for what could not be.
4) A depressed person tends to revive painful memories in his mind again & again. This is the biggest hurdle in his path of recovery.Rumination is inimical to happiness. As long as you are engrossed in melancholic thoughts how can you recover? Here is one way of overcoming it. Consider your mind to be a small guest-room & painful memories as unwelcome guests. Now fill your mind with other thoughts so that unwelcome guests cannot enter. These other thoughts could be, pursuing a favourite hobby, learning a new skill or opening up to people around you & taking interest in their lives. Be sure that you are not slyly cherishing the unwelcome guests& calling them in.
5) Look at the TOTAL PICTURE of your life. Do not concentrate on the dark & dreary aspects alone. Do you have a sound body,sharp brain,supporting family or friends,a roof over your head,the basic amenities of life,a good education or professional qualification & a job to sustain you ? Think about the brighter side & look at those who are worse off than you. This is sure to lift your mood.Thankfulness breeds happiness.
6) CONTENTMENT is another attribute which will shield you from tension.If , for some reason ,you are not able to reach the pinnacle of your ambitions, appreciate & enjoy what you have. Your targets should be realistic.Even in personal relationships it sometimes happens that a kin does not come up to your expectations, but you cannot break off the tie just because of that.It is best to concentrate on the person's positive traits & carry on.Often, good enough is good enough!
7) CURTAIL NEGATIVE THOUGHTS like anger jealousy,hatred & vengeance. If you feel that you have been wronged or humiliated by someone, try looking at the matter from his point of view .It could give you an insight as to why this happened.May be he did not mean it in the spirit in which you understood it.Or maybe you had unknowingly incited him.Talking to that person will clear the air-& also the cobwebs in the relationship.You will retrieve a failing connection.This is sure to release tension , bring about greater understanding & add an element of balance to your emotions.
8) Forgive & Forget.It is not enough to merely get over your negativity.If you forgive a perpetrator for having hurt you-it will take out the thorn from your heart.But of course no one should lay himself out for further transgressions.Caution is needed here.But that is a topic for separate discussion.
9) If pressure is great, live only one day at a time. THINK ONLY OF TODAY. Remorse about past will bring sorrow & worrying about future will spoil your today.Times change & who knows when good luck will knock at your door to solve your problems.
10) FOLLOW A NORMAL ROUTINE doing all that your role of the moment demands from you . Acting normally will induce normalcy.
11) STRENUOUS EXERCISES like running ,swimming, gardening etc. are very good for releasing tensions.They burn up the toxic chemicals in your bloodstream.
12) Become a member of a group,go for picnics ,parties& other group activities. Develop & maintain your RELATIONSHIPS. They will support you in bad times.
13) Fix up a ME TIME--an oasis in the day's routine, when you can indulge yourself by following activities which give you pleasure.Do not stinge on this time.
14) Write down what perturbs you ,maintain a journal.Writing down anger & frustration releases lots of pent up emotions.When you read those entries after a lapse of time you will realize how ephemeral most of your worries were.
15) Last but not the least--vent out your feelings to friends ,family or counselors. It will lift the burden over your head & heart.That is not all-they can also show you a way out of your predicament, which,you in your turmoil could not think of.
Anxiety & stress exacerbate rough times & are the precursors of depression; have a look at this post to avoid them.
Follow these fifteen steps & they will give you the stamina to live through the bad times.Just as sunrise follows the night;adversity too, will be followed by happy days.Good luck & good cheer!!!!