Tuesday, April 21, 2015

Takdiren

Takdiren
Jyun ret pe lakiren
Gehree kabhi itni,ke dil cheer jaatin,
Kabhi itni dhundhlee,ke samajh nahin aatin.
Abhi abhi aanki thin khush ho kisine,
Kshan bhar hi thehrin,phir dekhi na kisine.
Seedhi kabhi tirchi,kabhi jhoom ke lehraatin,
Beeti hui baaton ke gam ko bhulatin.
Aur phir achanak ye khud hi khinch jaatin,
Terhe merhe raaston pe,badhti hi jaatin.

Banaye nahin bantin,mitaye nahin mittin,
Andekhe haathon ne khinchi lakiren.

Related posts :--
http://jeeteraho.blogspot.in/2013/02/me-and-my-destiny.html

http://jeeteraho.blogspot.in/2012/07/it-happens.html

http://jeeteraho.blogspot.in/2013/12/passing-momentslost-moments.html

http://jeeteraho.blogspot.in/2014/04/dawn-at-dusk.html


Tuesday, April 14, 2015

Three ways of defeating # General Anxiety Disorder


Anxiety,that terrible feeling of dread,can be extremely debilitating.It creeps up slowly upon your mind and by the time you realize it is playing havoc with your life,it is already well entrenched.When you spend a major portion of your waking hours worrying about the umpteen dangers that could befall you,negative thinking becomes a habit and you find it difficult to free yourself from those ominous thoughts.

If you find yourself in a similar predicament it is best to take action at the first suspicion that anxiety has got it's hold on you.Consistent efforts will enable you to regain your peace of mind.It is not difficult at all--tenacity is all that is needed.Different people employ different techniques to kill anxiety.These techniques can broadly be categorized under three heads :---
ACTION
If you were energetic,practical and a doer before anxiety enslaved you,then that is where your salvation lies.Anxiety generates a surplus of adrenalin and cortisol,both of which are stress hormones that make you jittery.Vigorous activity subsumes this extra nervous energy,making you peaceful once again.

Take up a vigorous physical routine first thing in the morning.Make it a daily habit.

Line up a row of activities to choose from when anxiety becomes especially enervating.You can take your pick from running,swimming,cycling,dancing,cleaning,gardening,decluttering,organizing or a hard game of tennis ---anything which works for you.The more strenuous,the better.
THOUGHT
If you are basically a thinker and do not care much for physical activities,chances are that you will not be able to sustain physical exertion even if you do take it up on someone's advice.You certainly need to junk those baleful thoughts but the mind cannot remain in a vacuum.Therefore it has to be filled with other,equally absorbing thoughts.The best choice would be brain games like puzzles,crossword or sudoku.

Start with the moderately difficult ones--you don't want to be frustrated at the very beginning ;).As you grapple with these games a new train of thought will take over your brain and you will,for the time being,forget your troubles.If you manage to do this repeatedly the cycle of negative thinking will come apart and you will experience peace,as well as the satisfaction of knowing that your mental faculties are alive and kicking.

The artistic kind can find solace in music,sketching,painting or craft work.All these activities require undivided concentration,so that you will now be occupied with something other than your worries and apprehensions.

Meditation is another technique which you can try.It is a soothing balm for troubled minds.It takes time to show results but it is very effective.
MEDICATION
Despite all the suffering caused by anxiety many people become so apathetic that they fail to take any concrete steps to get out of this morass.Medication offers a workable solution.Let the doctor--preferably a psychiatrist--prescribe one for you.There is a vast variety available.If one medicine does not agree with you,you can always shift to another one.

Anxiety is annoying,enervating,exhausting and decapacitating-all at the same time.A chronic sufferer may sometimes be so overcome with lassitude as to resign himself to the fact that this is his fate and he has to live with it.Nothing could be farther from truth.It is true that today's hectic life is tailor-made for anxiety,but you don't have to live a sub-standard life all your life.Make a choice which technique suits you best of all and then stick to it.You can pull yourself out of it and regain control over your life.
All the best !

Tuesday, April 7, 2015

The agony of a # transexual--All Facts,no Fiction

Nature's cruelty is indecipherable.Why does it install a girl's psyche in a boy's body?The tormented soul is torn between two opposing forces.It is not the individual's fault that he was born with certain atypical characteristics but he has to face the disadvantages nevertheless.

This is what happened to Rohan,a 27 year old boy who was the youngest of four siblings--two boys and two girls.His father,an employee of Indian Railways was seldom at home and the mother,according to Rohan,had the mental age of a twelve year old.His father was given to alcohol and violence.He believed that his children were wasting money on education while Rohan,a graduate,had been a topper throughout and wanted to do Phd. in his subject.

Coming back to Rohan's appearance at Sahyog,there was nothing in his personality to reveal that he was a transexual.He himself told me about it,adding that he had changed himself to escape ridicule.He had never felt any attraction for girls.About seven years ago he began to idolize a senior in his college and after that his problems multiplied.This boy used to extract a lot of work from him and after that he would make fun of him.Rohan was so aggrieved by this that he still harbored thoughts of taking revenge from him,but at the same time he could not get him out of his mind too.

He consulted two psychiatrists when he felt stress overtaking him and his thoughts veering towards suicide.One of them hypnotized him and then stated that he was a homosexual.This enraged him a lot--it was the first time his fears had been brought out into the open.His problems too,aggravated manifold after that.

Upon further questioning he revealed that when he was young his mother used to dress him in frocks and his father once bought a complete make-up kit for him.There was a murderous glint in his eyes when he said this.I suspect his father must have done this to scorn him.He also made a passing mention of having been molested as a child.

Then he gave me another reason for staying away from girls.Both his sisters had married for love,outside their caste.This resulted in a lot of acrimony in their home as well as in their caste group.He admitted that his sisters would have remained unmarried if they had not taken this step.He did not wish to inflict a similar fate upon some other family;although he was well aware that he too would have to select his own life partner when the time came.

It was as if he was rationalizing this anomaly in his sexual leanings.How far the above factors influenced his sexual orientation is anybody's guess.

In search of his identity,Rohan went to the Naaz Foundation in Delhi.He met many persons and read their literature too, but he did not like all that he saw. Reasearchers affirm that homosexuality is the result of certain biological factors but Rohan was still undecided which way to go.

It was obvious that he was ambivalent about this whole situation.While his hormones pulled him in one direction,fear of social censure held him back.He shied from being labelled a homosexual.Was it possible that a cluster of small influences had steered his life in one direction?Obviously he did not have the answer.But he did want to believe this.

I suggested he could try befriending girls and see how it panned out.After that he would be able to make an informed decision.The last choice would be his.

Rohan did not return after this.I tried to follow up twice but the number had been changed.Much water has flown down the Chambal since then.I wonder what he decided and how his life has shaped up.Happily,I hope.

What do you all think?Which path should/could he have taken?