Tuesday, November 22, 2016

How,Not to Double Our Troubles

If there is one thing we cannot control in life,it is upcoming situations which suddenly erupt.It is a given that health problems and unfortunate events too,will crop up from time to time.The way we tackle them determines whether or not we will double our troubles.Any untoward event or a trial on the horizon does give us the jitters,but it is in our own hands to panic or sustain our composure.

Recently I had to undergo an eye surgery.This was going to be my first experience under the doctor's knife.We asked our family doctor to recommend the best clinic and went there.The doctor who first examined me cautioned me that I should not expect full recovery,it might be only 20%.

We went to another clinic for a second opinion.This one is very well known for its various achievements,it is all over the local newspapers.They assured me of good recovery.But I did not like that place--it was more like a mercenary establishment.Their package too,contained hidden charges while the first one was all upfront and honest.

So we went to the first one.At least they had been honest with me and our GP too had recomended them.I chose the first possible day to be operated upon because I wanted to minimize the period which might have been claimed by the heebie-jeebies.

Opthalmic procedures require you to sit for long periods with your eyes closed.I had to undergo many such sessions.Those who have read my earlier posts know that I don't like to sit idle,twiddling my thumbs.So I devoted such times to meditation.It was very calming.

The preliminary investigations and the running of my home kept me busy.But when the day dawned I could sense butterflies in my stomach.I concentrated solely upon how bright and shiny the world will look after the operation.I also reminded myself that since I had taken all necessary precautions,there was no need to panic.

The operation was slotted at 8pm.Throwing myself into all kinds of chores kept me busy till that time.I went along with my BH and son and that was that.Now I am back fully satisfied,happier and healthier than I ever was.

Suppose I had searched the internet for what could possibly go wrong,or the percentage of failures,I would have given a free run to the worry-horses.Cyberchondria or the tendency to search the internet for the outcome of every disease can easily turn us into a hypochondriac.It is true that the internet does come handy when the problem is opaque or we are skeptic of the treatment being meted to us,but half knowledge or too much of knowledge too, can sometimes be counter productive.

At the end of the day I would say that anything which has the possibility of keeping us on tenterhooks should be dealt with at the soonest.Staying active,refraining from imagining the worst,having faith in a decision taken after due consideration,and the support of our loved ones makes it easier to sail through a rough patch.

Tuesday, November 8, 2016

The Exigencies of Life--a Gazal by Begum Akhtar

A beautiful gazal by Fakir in the dulcet voice of Begum Akhtar-

Ishq mein gairate zazbaat ne rone na diya,
Varna kya baat thi kis baat ne rone na diya.

AAP kehte the ke rone se na badlenge naseeb,
Umr bhar aapki is baat ne rone na diya.

Rone walon se kaho unka bhi rona ro len,
Jinko majbooriye halaat ne rone na diya.

Tujh se mil kar hamen rona tha bahut rona tha,
tangiye vakte mulakaat ne rone na diya.

Ek do roj ka sadma ho to ro len Fakir,
Hum ko har roz ke sadmaat ne rone na diya.


Tuesday, October 25, 2016

Ten Tips For Coping With a # Crisis

We try to fashion a life which has order,progress,harmony and growth;but sometimes it takes a u-turn.A major disruption hits like a bolt from the blue.Critical ventures fail,gainfully employed people become jobless,a robust person is crippled,diseases diminish mind or body,relationships wither,or a dear kin departs.

The aftermath of such incidents is unsettling to say the least.We look frantically for a way to revert back to that earlier state of cheer and fitness,but some changes are irrevocable, and it is impossible to wind back the clock.All we can do is,find a way to minimise collateral damage and start anew.

Major upheavals entail drastic adjustments which are not easy to make.Is there any tool-kit to deal with such crises?The following may help:--
  • The very first requirement is to express your agony.Cry,shout,scream,vent your feelings,if that is what you feel like doing.Find a deserted place where you can be yourself.You will feel lighter after you have done this.
  • Now calm yourself.Don't panic.Say to yourself that this too shall pass,the pain will diminish and life will become easier.
  • Express your feelings to someone who understands you.If noone else,then consult a professional.Don't hesitate to ask for advice.
  • Don't dwell on what you have lost,it will aggravate your pain and prolong the status quo.If it comes to that,even the past must have had some elements which were not to your liking;and this turning point could even be beneficial in the long run.Silver lining,you know!
  • Check the instinct to react with rash behavior.Many people respond to a crisis by taking recourse to violence,self-harm or suicide.Avoid any kind of addiction-whether it be of food,drugs,or alcohol.  
  • Try to maintain your routine as far as possible.Eat well,sleep well.Stifle the urge to just hide under the covers,shutting out all else.
  • Hold on to the good things which still remain.If you have a loving family,savor its warmth.Go out,meet friends.Take up the activities which give you pleasure.
  • Look up,google those who have gone through a similar trauma,find out how they restructured their lives.
  • Plan out how you want to rebuild your life.Set small,attainable goals which will take you towards normalcy.Recount your own strengths and tap other resources which could help you to stand up again.
  • Remind yourself of the many blessings which you still enjoy in order to ward off depression.
Some crises definitely are very hard to adjust to,but if we do not accept the reality, modify our thinking and reset our goals,then life becomes a hopeless disarray of haunting memories  and toxic emotions.

On the other hand,when we strive to make a new beginning we become wiser and stronger,better able tolerate any kind of adversity in the future too.Bear with this egregious change because:-- 

Image from google search.