Tuesday, January 17, 2017

Why Conceal Anxiety,Depression,or Any Other Mental Disorder?

Living with anxiety,depression,O.C.D or any other mental disorder is an excruciating experience.It sets you apart from the rest of mankind.You feel worthless,weak and inferior.No wonder you try to hide this condition from others.In fact you may take time to even acknowledge it to your own self.But this secrecy,the attempt to project that everything is fine,has dire repercussions.So many things can go wrong if you do not open up about what is ailing you.
  1. Firstly,mental turmoil can make you absent minded,forgetful,unreasonable,irritable and easily provoked.These characteristics have the potential to sour relations.Others do not know what you are going through and therefore they may hold it against you.
  2. Secondly,when you keep your feelings bottled up,your tensions mount and this can worsen your condition.
  3. When you disclose your illness you are likely to get more emotional support from those who know.
  4. They can make life easy for you by sharing your burden in everyday chores or helping you with your visits to the doctor and subsequent treatment.
  5. Long term stress is sometimes responsible for the onset of diseases like hypertension,skin eruptions,gastric ulcers,thyroid disease,diabetes and even cancer.It is best to nip this possibility in the bud by seeking treatment.
  6. By admitting that you suffer from a mental disorder you will be piercing the veil of stigma which is responsible for so many like you suffering for long periods without any treatment and going downhill to a state beyond redemption.
  7. Once you have revealed what ails you--you don't have to shout it from the rooftops,but only let it be known on 'need to know basis'--you will be relieved from the stress of having to put up a brave front at all times.
I cannot sign off without saying a few words in defence of those who conceal a mental disorder.When someone realizes that he is losing control over his emotions and reactions he feels very inadequate and unworthy.He fears that if he were to divulge the state of his mental health he would be branded as abnormal or a mental patient--both of which are synonymous in general perception.

It is possible that some,who are not genuinely attached to you may fade away from your life after disclosure,because they do not know how to handle this situation;but it is also likely that you may get more emotional support from the people around you.

A disclosure at the workplace can be dicey,it can cut both ways.You might benefit from reasonable adjustments being made to suit your condition,but an ambience of gossip or stigma too,cannot be ruled out.It is also a fact that the unemployment rate in mental patients is higher than average.

On the whole this is a very personal decision which ought to be preceded by a serious evaluation of the pros and cons of revealing or concealing.

But what cannot be pushed under the table is,the caution that when you realize your efforts to cure yourself are not bearing fruit,when your whole schedule goes haywire,you lose interest in things which earlier engaged you,it is time to seek treatment.Do not prolong your self-imposed isolation.The earlier you come out,the quicker will be your recovery.Choose the professional with whom you are comfortable,but begin to live.Life will be rosy once again.

Tuesday, January 3, 2017

Simple Ways of Training The Brain

Our brains work best when we work out strategies,meet challenges,learn new things and solve puzzles.With the passage of time such activities diminish and the brain becomes lethargic.We become creatures of habit-afraid to try anything new.We fall into a rut and our days follow a fixed template.This not only makes us forgetful and lack-lustre,it can also set a stage for Alzheimer's Disease.

Like every part of the body the brain too requires exercise to stay supple.Even simple changes in our lifestyle can give excellent results.Here our a few of my favorite methods:--
  1. Meditation-The topper on this list has to be this esoteric science which not only improves the brain's function but can also relieve anxiety and depression.
  2. Learn new things-it could be anything from playing a game or an instrument to learning a new language.
  3. Use your non-dominant hand for more activities.
  4. Do what you find difficult,and you may be pleasantly surprised.This new-found confidence will encourage you to explore new territories.
  5. Try to memorise at least some phone numbers which you frequently use.Check-how many can you reel off at this moment?
  6. Play some brain games like Sudoku,Scrabble,Crossword,Rubik's Cube or Chess.
  7. If you come across a new word while reading,look up it's meaning and test your memory the next day.
  8. Do some mental math for basic calculations instead of reaching for the calculator.
  9. Before going to sleep,recall all that you did after waking up in the morning.
  10. Make slight variations in your morning regime.For example you could take a brisk walk instead of doing aerobics.Or take a new route for your walks.Or just sit down in the lap of nature and do breathing exercises.
  11. Walk backwards for a while,and also on your toes.
  12. Take sufficient sleep-the brain repairs itself while you are sleeping.
  13. Avoid intoxicants and take a healthy diet.
  14. Juggle balls.This seemingly innocuous activity has many health benefits.
These are simple measures but they will produce gratifying results if practiced diligently.Your learning abilities will improve-there will be faster learning,longer retention and quicker recall.You will become more alert and better able to concentrate.Forgetfulnes will be a thing of the past.You will feel more confident and your self-esteem too will rise.

This is by no means an exhaustive list.How about telling me what works for you?

Tuesday, December 20, 2016

Violent Ends to Intimate or Personal Relationships

These days more and more intimate/personal relationships are meeting a splattering end.When romance dissipates or is spurned,or infidelity (actual or perceived),strains a relationship;violence sometimes comes rushing in.Why?I guess there must be as many reasons as there are instances,but the bottomline is,that we are very short on tolerance.We cannot take 'no' for an answer.


I wonder  where this kind of reaction stems from.Is it because of a desperation to find a mate by any means?

A colossal lack of self-esteem?A nagging fear that if this proposal is refused,another one won't be coming?

Or is it due to a mammoth ego which cannot bear a rebuttal or the hint of deceit?

Perhaps those who resort to violence had a very gruesome past and know no other way of reacting to rejection.

Or it could be due to the rush of anger,an inability to control oneself during a barrage of emotions.


Or else the culprit modelled himself/herself on violent,aggressive members of his/her family.

Alcohol and drugs too can result in poor coping skills ending in violence in face of denial.

Then there are certain psychological conditions like narcissism,antisocial personality disorder,psychopathy or brain damage,which predispose a person to aggression or violence.


Whatever be the reason,it is imperative to be able to spot the red flags early in the day.If you are in a new alliance try to find out about that person's antecedents like where his homeplace is,how long he has been living at the current address,where his family is,what kind of friends he has,and what happened to his earlier relationships,if any.

Everybody is on perfect behavior in the initial stages of a relationship but as time passes and familiarity increases,some danger signals become apparent.Therefore be vigilant.Watch that person's body-language for any clues--the clenched fists,a grim jaw,narrow eyes,a hostile expression,an abrupt full stop during a conversation--it could be anything.Body-language precedes incriminations,insults or physical and verbal abuse.Shouting and swearing could denote the first rungs of violent behavior.Possessiveness,jealousy,excessive interrogation also spell danger.

Psychopaths especially are known for their charming ways.They are adroit manipulators and can easily fool someone.They have scant regard for others emotions and no compunctions in spilling blood.


If you have some doubt about anyones intentions please confide in someone.Maintain a safe distance if you do not want to break off just yet.Avoid going to lonesome places and keep a pepper spray handy.

If you find yourself in the company of an agitated,aggressive,intoxicated person don't turn your back towards him.Allow him to vent out his aggression through speech.Don't interrupt him and don't argue.Keep an escape route open.See if a nearby object can help you to shield yourself from the attacker.

However,it is best to steer clear of any precarious situation as soon as possible and take the help of suitable authorities.

You may also like :--

Marital Abuse--The Deadly Tie
http://jeeteraho.blogspot.in/2012/09/a-deadly-tie.html

Image and links courtesy Google search :)